


Laughter in the Halls of Mustafar

by adroitstories



Series: The Adventures of Force Ghost Clones [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Gen, Loss of Limbs, Morbid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:49:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25194952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adroitstories/pseuds/adroitstories
Summary: Inspired by @its-captain-sir on tumblr's post:New crack AU idea: the clones are chilling in their afterlife but they get bored so they decide to go mess with Darth Vader (because why not)
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker & CT-5383 | Tup, CT-21-0408 | Echo & Anakin Skywalker, CT-27-5555 | Fives | ARC-5555 & Anakin Skywalker
Series: The Adventures of Force Ghost Clones [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1825171
Comments: 14
Kudos: 163





	Laughter in the Halls of Mustafar

Fives never knew if Vader could feel them. Technically, he supposed they were part of the Cosmic Force, whatever the hell that meant, but that if he could sense them, that would put a bit of a damper in his plans

“Wait, wait,” Fives said, looking at the Sith Lord. “Wait, wait…”

His _vod’e_ waited dutifully.

“Now!”

Tup immediately moved the Sith Lord’s datapad, Hevy unplugged several wires in the database, and Fives himself went for the Sith Lord’s lightsaber. Echo stood on the sidelines and smirked. Cutup joined him, a smile alight on his eternally young features.

Darth Vader looked up, and Fives could swear that he looked exhausted, through the mask.

“Well, what do we have here?” Fives drawled, flipping the lightsaber in his hand. “Nothing like your other one, I could almost swear that it radiates evil…”

Darth Vader sighed. “Fives, give it back.”

“You know, Sith Lord,” Fives spat, “I don’t think I will.” He tried to ignite the lightsaber, but found that he couldn’t, for some reason.

Darth Vader motioned with his mechanical hand, and the lightsaber flew out of Fives’ hand and back to his belt.

“You cannot ignite the weapon of a Sith Lord,” he intoned.

“I did it plenty of times when you were a Jedi! You had to tell me to stop doing it, I was ‘scaring Obi-Wan’!”

If Fives didn’t know better, he would have said that the sound that escaped Vader was a chuckle.

“You know, Vader, this is just pathetic of you. You never did datawork before! Gods knows that Rex suffered for it! And now you do it because the Emperor asks you?” Echo taunts. The clone shakes his head. “Just sad.”

Fives grins as he hears Vader pound his desk. “I do as my Master asks, clone.”

“Kenobi asked you to do datawork, too, and you consistently blew him off, then, too.” Echo reminds him.

“Perhaps I have gained wisdom,” Vader suggests, plugging in wires that Hevy had unplugged. He also whisked the datapad back onto his desk, from where Tup had stolen it.

“ _Vod’e_ , if I knew killing people gave me wisdom, I would have killed Echo years ago,” Fives laughed at his brother.

“Hey, maybe that makes sense! You know, we mostly only killed droids in the war, must not have killed enough sentients to gain any wisdom. That’s why we’re so annoying,” Echo replied, stroking his chin.

“Or, you know, shinies,” Tup offered helpfully. “Maybe you gain more wisdom if you kill shinies who really don’t know any better.”

Vader growled.

Hevy rolled his eyes. “I still can’t believe that this was your general,” speaking as if Vader wasn’t in the room. “He doesn’t seem so great. Nothing like you guys said.”

Tup spoke then, a bitter thing. “Yeah, well he’s a bit of a disappointment, right now.”

Fives agreed. “You would have liked him better before he was half-droid.”

There was silence for a minute.

Fives grinned. “Well, really, we did all the work to make him look good. All he had to do was wave that lightsaber around and wait for the droids to fall.”

Echo laughed. “Gods, I know! We’d get so many more droids than him, but he’d just smile and say, ‘It’s the will of the Force,’ like we didn’t just pick up his lightsaber from when he dropped it, or shot droids that were seconds away from killing him.”

“Like that time on Mygeeto?”

“Or that time on Geonosis?”

Tup, Echo, and Fives laughed. Cutup strode over to where several artifacts from the war were displayed as trophies.

“Is that, Dooku’s lightsaber?” Fives asked. “Never seen it before up close. Why’s it curved? That just seems like a bad idea.”

“Well, it gives more possible grips than a straight cylinder, maybe?” Echo said.  
  
“You guys are just…ignoring the hand that’s attached to the lightsaber, huh?” Cutup said, surprised.

“Gods, Vader, that’s so disgusting,” Tup said, looking a bit sick. “You did that and kept both the hand and the saber? Not even Grevious went that far.”

“That we know of,” Fives said grimly. “Wouldn’t be surprised if the tinny had some weird _osik_ up with him.”

“Yeah.”

“It was a gift from my Master,” Vader said. “A reminder of what I had been able to achieve.”

“That’s a bit dark there,” Tup said lightly.

Cutup snorted. “We’re in a palace, on a lava planet, where the guy was immolated ‘cause he got his _shebs_ beat, where Senator Amidala died, and you think the severed hand is the dark part?”

“Good point,” Echo said, smiling.

“Hey, remember when we were on leave at Coruscant?” Tup asked.

“And we got into so much trouble because we wanted some fruit?” Echo replied, laughing. He wiped tears from his eyes. “We stole so much fruit.”

Vader cocked his head. “I never knew you did that,” he said slowly.

“We repaid him in a blaster,” Fives said, nodding. “Like, we gave him the blaster. We didn't have anything else to repay him.”

“It almost didn’t work, because you’re such an awful liar!” Echo gave Fives a playful shove.

“You made me the distraction! Not my fault it was poor planning on your part!” Fives shoved Echo back. “For someone who regularly comes up with brilliant strategies, that was pretty dumb of you!”

Echo laughed as Fives shoved him.

“ ‘Ah, yes, we’re, decrypting the alien hardware, should be done in a minute, General KriffMcKark, sir,’” Tup said, mimicking Fives. Hevy and Cutup howled with laughter.

“Oh, yeah I saw that!” they laughed.

“Fives, you’ve never been able to lie for _osik_ ,” Hevy said, finally stopping laughing.

“Oh, yeah, Vader, this is Hevy and Cutup, two of my batchmates. They started marching on before Echo and I joined the 501st,” Fives said by way of explanation. “They would have been great additions to the squad.”

“Hey, I managed to take out half a battalion of tinnies,” Hevy said, puffing himself up. “Plus, I saved both your sorry _shebs_ , so technically yours and Echo’s kills are retroactively added to mine,” he smirked.

Echo and Fives mock gasped. “Take that back, _ori’vod_!”

They began chasing their brother, and causing more ruckus in Darth Vader’s office. More wires became unplugged, Count Dooku’s hand and lightsaber were thrown at Vader, the datapad somehow was smashed. Cutup and Tup even got involved, and they laughed at all the destruction they’d caused.

Only Darth Vader could hear the pure laughter that never echoed through the halls of Mustafar.

**Author's Note:**

> Mando'a Translations:
> 
> shebs--ass  
> osik--shit  
> ori'vod--older sibling  
> vod'e -- siblings


End file.
